Sorry, been absent recently- lots of stuff going on, I think mostly in my brain.
I was going to write about the really nice walk I did the other weekend, but I think that will wait- if you look at the photo's on the right you can see what I did, pretty much.
Its been an see- saw past few weeks. I saw a position back in Newcastle that's still in this field (which is good, it's getting too late to keep changing fields, plus next years European conference is in Barcelona and who wouldn't want to go there!). Anyway I applied, I emailed the guy too to ask for more information- he wants someone to start straight away....hmmmm....my brain started wibbling at his point, did I want to move so soon? could I even do it? I really don't want to leave yet- I feel like I've found a second home here, I'm comfortable, happy. I've been feeling really torn- am I staying because its comfortable, easy here or should I go and work harder on a career? I even though of giving up on research life, and then do what?
Anyway, I submitted- it was an online application so I had to write the answer that you would usually speak in an interview- why do you want this position, what makes you good...its weird to write this. I bad enough talking about myself, let alone writing, it seems so fake to have to write such positive things about myself.
While I submitted, I chatted with our new de-facto head of the lab (Scotland lover), who had been talking to his highness (still out of commission, until January now!) he mentioned that if I wanted there would be possibly some money to work another year- it would mean a paycut. This he mentioned briefly and then went off to the clinics and other hospitals and trip to Singapore; leaving this little spot of luck dangling, but without any confirmation or more information.
Last week, I got an email that my application was being considered for the short list in Newcastle, which was a nice feeling, though at the same time a feeling of dread. I've been tearing up everytime I thought or had to speak about the possibility of leaving. Then came the email of "lets have a skype chat" last Friday and spent the weekend flip-flopping from happiness at getting this far and all whole host of other negative feelings. I missed the skype message until late on Friday night and there was no way I could hold a normal conversation, let alone an interview at midnight that night, so I ignored it.
Thankfully sitting out under the beautiful autumn leaves with Oyomesan, was a great tonic for the soul (thanks!) and I'm feeling a bit more positive- ish. I think its got me in a tizz because its all so soon and I have a load to do before now and christmas without the whole nightmare of moving country.
Monday- and I have a chat with the returned Scotland lover and there is a firmer idea of what would be the option if I stayed- a big pay cut, but I could stay for another year. So Japan is back on the table- it would mean some budgetting and careful saving for trips or flights and the end of tennis on Saturday.
I still have to have the chat with the guys in Newcastle- tomorrow or Friday night and find out more.
Thankfully this coming weekend I'm escaping this for 4 days in Taipei, maybe this will give my brain a much needed rest to get some perspective.
Sorry for the ramble- needed to get this down and out of my brain.
2 comments:
You hang in there sweety!
We'll be sitting under the cherry blossoms in the same park next spring IF YOU WANT TO!
It's YOUR career - nobody can tell you how it should go...there is no fixed time when you have to achieve anything by.
So....let's see how it goes.
Do they have cherry blossoms in Newcastle?
Making big decisions - ugh! Good luck!
My boyfriend is looking for a university job right now, and not having much luck, so whether you stay or go, you are lucky to have optins (although you may not feel so currently!)
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